We often agree to do things we don’t really want to do. And then we do them, feeling resentful and grumpy and wronged that we’re being forced into doing them. But you haven’t been forced, you decided to do whatever you’re doing.
You always have choice. But the choice is often between one kind of compromise and another. Between helping a friend with something and saying no, so you can work on your presentation. Between attending the afterwork drinks and spending time with your family. Between letting someone down and staying true to yourself.
In other words, the choice is often between two things that are important to you. And making such decisions is difficult if you don’t know yourself well. This dissonance creates the resentment of having to choose between two equally important options. But rather than inconvenience, this is an opportunity to get to know yourself more deeply and understand what’s important to you. Options are rarely equal in how much they matter—one of them usually outweighs the other. Take the time to clarify which one.
And when you choose, own your decision. Fully. Whether you decide to miss out on the business event, so you can attend your friend’s birthday, or you leave your presentation unfinished, so you have lunch with your mother—do whatever you do, fully. This means, do it without resentment. Without resistance. Do it, with all of yourself.
Do it, realising that a) we’re often choosing between imperfect options, b) you had a choice, and c) you made the choice.
This is the difference between being a creator and being a victim. Between being in power and being at the effect of life. You’re only in full power when you’re a creator.