Byron Katie has a saying that I love : “Reality is always kinder than the stories we tell about it.” Never is this truer than when it comes to our own critical thoughts about ourselves.
We are often so quick to judge ourselves and so harsh in our judgement. Quick to dismiss 99% of all the great we’ve done, narrow in on the one small thing that has gone wrong, and beat ourselves up about it, over and over.
Self-judgement is corrosive and destructive. It’s also more rife than ever as we compare the reality of being human (i.e. imperfect — and all the more perfect for it) with the “reality” of what people present on social media. But if we spoke to our friends the way we speak to ourselves, we’ll be friendless.
And that’s always been a good check for me. Whenever I catch my inner critic’s performance, I ask myself if a friend was struggling through something, would I speak to them the way I’m speaking to myself.
Making space for our humanity, understanding that so-called failure is an intrinsic aspect of success, and that there’s nothing wrong with us if we didn’t get it “right” the first time, or the second, is the most empowering gift we can give to ourselves – and the access to our true potential. It is by going into our flaws that we access our perfection.
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