We’re not afraid of what other people will think of us.
We are afraid that their thinking will confirm the self-doubts we already have.
These self-doubts exist within us as thoughts and feelings, and they weigh us down. They make us feel shame. They make us feel anxious. Wrong. Broken. Inadequate. Less than. Not enough.
And in order to avoid experiencing these hurtful feelings, we engage in perfectionism and people-pleasing and we fear criticism and failure.
Why again? So that we avoid experiencing the hurt of our doubts about ourselves.
But that doesn’t work. It’s akin to protecting from the pain of a cut by trying not have anything come in contact with it, rather than by healing the cut.
The freedom from self-doubt comes not from performance that assures you that you don’t need to doubt yourself, it comes from removing removing the self-doubt.
From looking within and seeing what are the thoughts I must be believing that make me feel inadequate, less than, not enough, not worthy. Are they true?
External stimuli can’t fill an internal void. If your doubts stay within you, they’ll continue to hurt. Life and other people will trigger them.
Other people’s approval of you will never compensate for your own lack of approval of yourself.
Because it’s not their acceptance that you crave, it’s your own.
It’s not their love that you crave, it’s your own.
It’s not the assurance that you are perfect, but that there’s nothing wrong with you.
And you get that assurance when you investigate and see through your self-doubting thoughts.
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Do you want to unburden from the burden of wrongness? Let go of self-doubt, inner turmoil, shame and guilt, and instead feel whole, complete, alive?
My signature coaching programme is a deeply transformative container that takes people from anxiety, inner fragmentation and overwhelm to deep confidence, self-love and trust. To find out more, book a discovery call: http://www.pavlina.me/contact