Making a mistake is normal, human and even desirable because we learn from the experience. Yet, we often feel uncomfortable or even embarrassed if we haven’t handled something as well as we could have.
In order to deal with the discontent, we may try to fix the mistake or avoid facing up to it. Yet, if the impulse to do so comes from a sense of guilt, we are likely to not go about it in the most constructive manner, because we are in a reactive mode.
Being in a reactive in the opposite of being creative. Creation happens from a blank slate and it’s a state of pure opportunity. Reaction is always in response to something and as such limiting. If we’re responding, in this example to feelings of guilt or embarrassment, the emotions we’re in reacting to colour our perspective and dictate our behaviour. Guilt can create an agenda behind our actions, and sometimes this agenda can be hidden even from us.
We see things differently and take better decisions when we step out of the emotions we’re feeling and examine ourselves from distance.
Making a mistake is not a problem. It’s problematic when mistakes compound. And if we react to them without full awareness of our feelings, they can compound because it’s not us but our guilt that’s in charge.
If we recognise that we could have done better, it is powerful to apologise—whether that’s to another person or to ourselves. Admitting fault can be difficult. It may feel belittling, intimidating, as a sign of weakness. In fact, it’s anything but. Saying sorry is powerful because it requires deep awareness, and it’s empowering because it enables us to move forward with clarity and grace.