“Is”

A very simple and effective way to relieve the pain and heaviness of any unpleasant situation, is by removing any “shoulds” or “shouldn’ts” we attach to it. I find that there’s immediate lightness when I reframe “this shouldn’t be happening” as “this is what’s happening”. 

I shouldn’t have done this. > I did this. 

I shouldn’t be feeling this way. > I’m feeling this way. 

They shouldn’t have said that. > They said that. 

They should care more. > They’re doing whatever they’re doing. 

The more we step out of qualifying a situation as either good or bad, the less under its weight we feel.