Confidence and trust are our natural states. They’re not something you need to create, they’re something you already have. We access them more fully, when we identify and remove the self-doubt, the imposter syndrome, the limiting beliefs and all the “not enough” lies we tell ourselves. How do we do this?
Step 1: Listen to yourself, deeply, with raw honesty.
Look within with compassion, curiosity and raw honesty. Investigate your mind. Make time for being with your own thoughts—whether by journaling, taking a walk, or staring at the wall—and hear, really hear, yourself.
Step 2: Notice that you have two broad types of thoughts: fear-based or trust-based
Each of our thoughts originates from either one of two energies–fear or trust. Our thoughts are either pressurising us, blaming us, stressing us out about something – or they’re supporting, comforting and stabilising us. Fear-based thoughts make us feel like we want to run, hide or shut down. (They activate our fight/flight/freeze response). Trust-based thoughts make us feel grounded, energised, inspired.
Step 3: Get to know your fear-based inner critic and trust-based voice of wisdom
Get to know these two different thought patterns. They come from two distinct voices—the fear-based inner critic and the trust-based voice of wisdom. Listen to the inner critic and hear it out. Take notes. What is it saying? What is it worried about? What is it demanding? What is it blaming you for?
Now investigate these statements and concerns. What does your voice of wisdom have to say about them? Listen to its take on things. And then ask yourself—which of these voices is truly mine? Which one is telling the truth? Feel the answer.
Step 4: Repeat.
Make time to go through this process on a regular basis. The more you recognise your fear-based thoughts and the more you investigate their validity, the less identified with them you’ll become over time.