Confidence is owning yourself, fully. It doesn’t result from being perfect, but from being comfortable with the so-called imperfections. We are finite beings. Limitation is part of our humanity, and so is the difficulty of accepting our limitations.
I think there are three main reasons we resist embracing our “imperfections”. First, there’s a misconception that perfection is appealing, which creates the unattainable expectation that we should be flawless. Second, we make our “imperfections” mean something about us—if someone hasn’t achieved the level of success they want to achieve, that’s because they’re a loser; if their body isn’t the perfect size, they’re not good enough. And, third, we equate our “limitations” with who we are. When something goes south, often the narrative about it isn’t that we just made a mistake—but that we are a mistake.
When we own all aspects of ourselves, including these more undesirable shadow aspects, we are in touch with our humanness. And people love being in our presence. Especially, people who may not be fully comfortable with themselves, i.e. most of humanity. That’s because modelling this confidence of accepting things as they are, owning yourself, all in, inspires people to do the same for themselves. It allows them to give themselves the permission to bring the qualities of unconditional acceptance to themselves. And that’s what most of us crave.
And, as you step into this confidence, you are a beneficiary of your own radiance, too, which does silent work in integrating any residual resistance you may have to aspects of yourself.