Grounded in fragility
One of my biggest weaknesses has been talking about my weaknesses. I’ve been afraid to be vulnerable since childhood. I demanded from myself to be strong.
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The decisions we make and the decisions that make us
We make about 33,000 decisions per day. Over 2,000 in every hour of sixteen waking hours. We choose what to do, how to do it, what we say, if we say it, when we exercise, what we drink, eat, leave, take. But the vast majority of our actions result from the decisions we don’t make. 95% of cognition happens “in the dark”—in our subconscious not our conscious mind.
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Loving the brokenness
Our brokenness is our wholeness. It’s the idiosyncratic expression of the fractal of life we are. We’re not whole when we’re whole. We’re whole when we love all of our brokenness. Love it all. Be with it all. With all of who you are. Be most present, gentle and loving to what you are ashamed
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What shame, guilt, fear tell us
Feelings of shame, guilt, fear, apathy, anxiety, hopelessness are signs that you’re listening to and buying into your Inner Critic / Fearful Ego. When you experience these feelings, ask yourself — what thoughts are creating these? What have I been telling myself? Attune to your Inner Critic, hear it out, with curiosity and compassion, and
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The shadow teaches self-love
What we dislike and resist in others is what we judge in ourselves. These parts we’re trying to annex are our shadow qualities, and they are our greatest teacher to self-love. It’s not disowning them that makes us complete, it’s embracing them. Self-love is loving both the lovable and the seemingly unlovable in us.
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Fragility: allowing things to be, as they are
Acceptance is not about making something acceptable to accept. Acceptance is accepting what is, as it is, now. This takes great courage. Stepping out of self/life-censorship and resistance and allowing yourself and life, non-judgementally, requires a lot of vulnerability.
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How to overcome anxiety
Ironically, we escape anxiety when we stop trying to escape it and allow ourselves to feel it instead. We are conditioned to resist our feelings in order to cope with them, but ironically it’s when we feel them that they pass through us.
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It’s not about avoiding difficulties, it’s about being with them
Toward the end of last summer, I took cold showers for a couple of weeks. One morning, in the midst of a shower, I thought—it’s not getting any easier. And then I remembered—it’s not about avoiding difficulties, it’s about being with them without letting them affect us.
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How to know you’re listening to the Voice of Fear, aka Inner Critic
Life is more draining than energising. Your mood is low.
You’re engaging in some form of emotional numbing: avoidance and/or distraction activities.
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Busyness is laziness
Busyness is often the result of panic, complacency or lack of clarity. If you’ve been guilty of it, slow down and feel into the discomfort this will create within you. Stay with it and ask the difficult questions: What am I avoiding? What am I not admitting to myself? What really matters? What is my
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