Who we are not
The part of us that’s asking to go is not who we are. The part that’s asking to go is the scared, fragmented, fearful side of us.
To look life in the face
A conflict triggered me very deeply recently, evoking strong feelings of fear, fragmentation, abandonment and loss. In the immediate aftermath of it, I was very vulnerable, raw, alone and exposed.
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Vulnerability is a superpower
I grew up, not allowing myself to be vulnerable because I believed that my worth was contingent on me being powerful, strong dependable. On the one hand, I didn’t want to show to people who were hurting me how they impacted me, so I suppressed my emotions. And on the other hand, I thought that
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Growth by vertical ascension
Traditionally, we think of life, achievement, motion in terms of linear progression. Growth which involves moving from A to B takes time. Building muscle, training for a marathon, losing weight require progressive overload over a period of time.
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Judgement of others is judgement of self
What we judge in others is often what we sense and reject in ourselves. The traits and behaviours we criticise, actively or passively, in friends, partners, co-workers, society at large are usually characteristics we see in ourselves and are uncomfortable with.
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Relative and absolute worth
There are two types of worth: relative and absolute. Relative worth is the conventional worth that we associate with achievement, success, appreciation, status. Its perceived value increases when certain criteria are fulfilled and it decreases if we fail, struggle or stagnate.
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Real trust
Conventionally, we want proof in order to trust. This is the ego. Scared and in need of reassurance. Real trust is unconditional. It’s a leap of faith into the unknown. It’s independent of proof and it’s about trusting that life, in ways that are beyond the capacity of what we can intellectualise, knows what it’s doing.
Stepping into our full power
When life is challenging and hurtful, we tend to attribute this to our falling short in some capacity. Maybe our business isn’t growing at the rate we want it to grow, or people are not treating us with the respect we deserve, or we’re not losing the weight we want to lose, we all often find ourselves being not as happy, vital and free as we know we can be.
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The meaning between the lines
A friend recently asked me what I made of the following: an acquaintance of his whom he’d recently met at an event, had messaged him asking for the name of a book he’d mentioned. My friend read the behaviour as slightly disrespectful: they’d reconnected at the event, after sharing a common experience, and rather than
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Identity-driven work
One of my main observations from being an entrepreneur for ten years is that the closer your product or service is aligned with who you are, who you really are, the higher your chance of success. I think there are two reasons for this: a) when what we do isn’t just what we do, but
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