If the horse is too big for the rider, does the rider need a smaller horse or better skills? If you’re falling short of standards you set for yourself, should you lower your standards or upgrade your skills? The answer perhaps is both in and beyond the question.
The rider’s ability to ride is neither separate from the horse nor from the rider. It’s up to them to choose what this speaks to. More importantly, it’s up to the rider to understand why this is a problem on the first place and what opportunity the problem presents.
There is an opportunity in every problem. And, normally, the more resistance we have to a problem, the bigger the opportunity is. To see what the opportunity is, we need to step out of the fear problems evoke and reflect from that place.
The opportunity in feeling hurt by something someone said may be in seeing where you’re not completely free. The opportunity in not living the life you love may be in discovering how to create it.
The opportunity in failing to meet your goals may be in realising that they don’t mean as much to you as you thought they did—in which case you can set more inspiring goals—or in realising that they mean much more than you realised, in which case you continue.
Whether we choose a horse too big for us to ride, a partner with whom we’re not happy, or goals that we haven’t yet achieved, there’s a very good reason why we made the choice we made. And figuring out that reason is the biggest opportunity yet. It’s in the power and leverage you’ll gain from the introspection.
Ultimately it’s not about the choice, it’s about the one choosing.