A simple technique for overcoming resistance and rebellion

I run 7 km in the rain this morning. I’ve had many runs in all kinds of weather—snow, hail, wind, rain, ice—in the last 18 months. I’d made a commitment to run six times a week and to make sure that nothing interferes with it, I decided to run first thing in the morning. In 2013, I ran over 2,500km, i.e. about 48km per week, or just over 8km per run. Regardless of the weather conditions, I’d go for a run because I had to.

But when we do something because we have to, there is an underlying notion of obligation there. We essentially force ourselves to do it. And when we force ourselves to do something, we are victims. And when we’re victims we are powerless.

But in reality I didn’t have to go for a run—I was choosing to. And I could choose not to run. Recognising that we always have choice whether to do something or not brings power back to us. Shifting the language we use when we think of our commitments shifts the way we relate to them and to life, and creates completely different energy and experience. Because our natural response to command is resistance and rebellion. Think about something that you must do and see how this feels in your body. Now think about the same thing but in terms of something that you choose to do, something that you’d love to do. And see how it feels in your body now.

This morning instead of having to run in the rain, I chose to. And I even loved running in the rain and I was grateful for it. I was grateful for the ability to run, for the strength of my body, for all the smell of nature, for the way the rain felt, and for the opportunity to be part of it all. And the more I thought of that, the more vital and energetic I felt.

Should, need to, have to, must are words that carry the energy of oppression and as such instinctively make us pull away from the associated activities. But recognising that we always have a choice and then choosing to and—even more powerfully—loving to do the things we commit to creates a very different experience. True, some activities aren’t easy to love—my dog had an upset stomach this morning, and it was rather curious to love having my work interrupted a number of times in order to collect dog diarrhoea in the rain—but I love him and I love taking care of him.