The word “should” is oppressive and demanding. It also puts you in a catch-22 situation of a kind in that you will lose in both cases.
You’re watching a film you’re enjoying, and you think I should really go and do some work. If you then go ahead and do the work, you’ve just forced yourself to. And doing anything out of pure obligation and necessity is not much fun.
Conversely, if you don’t do the work you should, you’ve just rebelled against your better judgement, against what you believe is in your best interest, and here you are ruining your life. And the film you chose to watch instead of doing the work, you’re now likely to not enjoy much with all of this guilt trapped inside you.
In either case, if your starting position is that you should do something, whether you then do it or don’t there will be friction.
But, the reality is that there’s nothing really that you should do. We say I should exercise. I should finish the article. I should network more. And the implication is we don’t have a choice. But we do. It’s just that each choice has consequences and opportunity cost.
I can choose not to exercise. And if I do, the consequence is that I may not achieve my fitness goals, while the opportunity cost is everything else I may do in the time.
Conversely, one of the consequences of exercising is that I feel more energised afterwards. And some of the opportunity costs are that I don’t read, watch something, work, etc.
When you choose to do the things you’ve been saying you should do, you create a completely different experience for yourself. You’re no longer in a lose-lose situation, but the conscious agent behind your choices and the beneficiary of your choices.
What are the things in your life that you’ve been doing because you should – that you can now do because you choose to?