One of my biggest weaknesses has been talking about my weaknesses.
I’ve been afraid to be vulnerable since childhood. I demanded from myself to be strong. And to my teenage brain strength meant not showing my soft side—my fragile heart that was so vulnerable and got hurt. In other words, my idea of being “strong” required me to not feel my feelings and deny my humanity and authenticity.
Ironically, both not feeling our feelings and not being authentic are the very antithesis of being strong and grounded.
I was denying myself and my authentic expression because I was looking for approval from others for the things I wasn’t approving of in myself.
I wanted to be a pillar for people—but I wasn’t a pillar for myself.
I was a good listener to others, but I didn’t listen to myself.
With time, I understood that resilience comes not from not feeling our feelings, but from feeling them as deeply as possible.
Fragility is the access to anti-fragility.
When we’re vulnerable, we allow ourselves to embrace the unembraceable. To express and love the unlovable. To share what’s hiding in self-doubt, judgement or denial.
Loving the unlovable is the gateway to our deepest ground—our true self. What we refuse to see, seizes us.
Since I started integrating the aspects of myself I’d been resisting, a few tectonic plates started shifting:
I have more energy.
I feel more joy.
I have more clarity.
I’m more connected with myself, with the people around me and with life.
I’m more creative.
And I take less BS.
I step more fully into my potential.
Guiding clients to discover and accept all aspects of themselves is a cornerstone of my coaching practice. This makes us feel both lighter and more grounded and is a foundation for powerful growth and transformation.