Asking ourselves difficult questions is difficult. If we think the answers may hurt us, make us feel vulnerable, or critical of ourselves, we tend to self-protect by pulling away from inquiry. We don’t want to find out that yes, it was our fault that the project failed; yes, we didn’t say the right thing; yes, we embarrassed ourselves.
But honesty is a bedrock of growth and liberation. When we avoid something, deep down we feel uncomfortable about our avoidance. And we judge ourselves for it. I once read a metaphor that likened that judgement to walking around with a watermelon that we’re trying to hide from everyone. It’s weighs on us, it’s awkward, it’s cumbersome. When we ask the difficult questions, we experience relief.
Radical honesty is liberating and it works in our service. It’s an act of self-respect and confidence that allows us to examine and see things as they really are and decide what to do about it. If we’d been out of integrity, learn from it and make apologies. If we haven’t, learn and make apologies again, this time to ourselves for telling ourselves lies.
Awareness shapes our actions. And our actions shape our experience of life. Seeing things as they really are is the first step to creating the life we want to live.