Problems recur for two main reasons: either because we’ve been ignoring them, or because the solutions were not effective. In either case it’s our inability to be with the friction that problems create that causes them to repeat.
The first step of solving is investigating. Asking questions, digging deep, seeing what really is going on. To do that, we need to sit in the middle of the mess that the problem has created. And that’s often very uncomfortable. And the bigger the problem is, the more uncomfortable it is. It makes us anxious, restless, panicky. So to resolve that tension, we jump into the solution stage too early, before we’ve understood what really is going on, and end up implementing an ineffective solution. It’s a form of busyness.
If we can sit with the unease problems create, we increase our chance of finding sustainable solutions. And the ability to be with that tension is a skill. We learn it by doing the opposite of what it calls for: we open to it, rather than push it away. We get curious about it and about what it’s here to teach us.