The gift in self-judgement

Acceptance for what is (or absence of resistance to what is) is how we connect to ourselves on the deepest level — and connect in a way that’s loving, nurturing and non-judgemental. And I believe that’s really what this dimension is all about. Experiencing ourselves from that space of profound acceptance. The obstacle to that is our own self-judgement. And most of us have so much of it, on both conscious and subconscious levels. 

What I observe in myself and my clients is that it’s very important how we connect to the message that we shouldn’t judge ourselves. Because asserting that we shouldn’t judge is a judgement in itself. And it’s very important how we frame this for ourselves – because often it can actually exacerbate self-judgement. 

The way I look at it is that self-judgement is a form of self-acceptance — we’re doing the best we can to love ourselves. Resistance is a form of acceptance. It’s through the resistance that we learn to accept. And so, we make space for the self-jusgement, we make space for the negative self-talk, for the fight against accepting what is.