When we think about what we want to achieve, the fundamental question we’re trying to answer is “what would I love to get?”.
Whether it’s more joy, business success, peace of mind, a loving relationship or whatever lights your fire, the way we normally think about goals is oriented toward what our accomplishments will do for us.
But there’s a different approach to goal-setting, which I find to be much more empowering.
And that is that instead of asking “what would I love to get?”, you ask “what would I love to give?”.
What would I love to create, express, share, contribute, make happen?
This shift has a number of benefits.
First, it connects you with your power and agency. When you’re a creator first, and then receiver, your move from a passive into an active role in life. You are not subject to circumstance or at the effect of accomplishments. You lead instead.
Another benefit is that it’s much easier to align with your authenticity and what really matters to you when you focus on giving rather than getting.
When we’re in a getting mindset, we’re often misaligned with ourselves. The things we tend to get are often the things we “should”, “need”, or “must” get. In other words—the things that our conditioning and society tells us to get. We chase goals that are not ours, and goals that leave us empty and unfulfilled when we achieve them.
Giving, on the other hand, is difficult to sustain consistently unless it comes from the heart—unless you truly care and are deeply connected to what you’re contributing and creating.
I also find that leading with giving helps me get out of my head—especially in the ways in which my head is standing in my way (what an image!). It helps me remember that it’s not about me. It’s not about my concerns, worries, fears, frustrations. It’s not about what life could give me, but about what I could give to life.
For a while, “what would I love to give?” has been the fundamental question I try to answer when I think about my life and work, when I make plans, when I set priorities, when I strategise, and it’s helping me align with what’s truly meaningful to me.