One of the things most damaging to confidence is breaking our commitment. Whether we’ve given our word to others or ourselves, we are out of integrity when we go back on it, and we know that we are. We know that we’ve just lied to ourselves, and it doesn’t feel good. Not upholding our commitments impacts our confidence negatively often in ways we don’t fully appreciate.
One reason for that is because it undermines our own judgement. In order to get out of the commitment, you need to undervalue whatever you’d previous decided was important to you, and this creates distrust in your assessment and discernment.
In the context of commitments we’ve made to others, not keeping our word can create lack of trust, and also render us and our opinion irrelevant over time.
If you’re struggling with keeping yourself committed, here are some tips that can help:
Start with a small minimum commitment
Begin with a small minimum commitment. Blocking 10 minutes for deep work, making at least one phone call, writing at least 100 words per day, exercising for 10 minutes per day, eating one healthy meal. The important thing here is to keep your commitment no matter what, so begin with something that’s sustainable and build on from there.
Stay with it, especially when obstacles appear
When we overcome barriers, especially those that we may have previously been held back by, we prove to ourselves that we’re more powerful than we’d been giving ourselves credit for. When you say that you’ll do something, and you do it no matter what—you’re a very powerful being.
Include a badass commitment
Keeping your commitment no matter what will already make you feel like a badass—because you’ll have to push through whatever obstacles will invariably present themselves, and when you do, you’ll bask in your greatness afterwards. And the more badass you feel, the more inspired you’ll be to sustain it.
Resilience builds confidence. Feeling that you’re badass, that you can push through limitations, challenges, difficulties send a very powerful message to yourself and to the world. If you want to further strengthen the experience of your badassness, make a commitment which is specifically oriented toward building resilience in the face of obstacles.
Any exercise commitment that stretches you outside of your comfort zone helps with this. Not only because you’ll have to overcome physical barriers, but because feeling that we’re powerful and safe in our body creates mental resilience and power.
If your goal has to do with the outdoors, you can commit to doing it no matter what the weather is like. When I made a commitment to run first thing every morning, no matter what, it was on the rainy, snowy, low energy and motivation days that I felt deeply proud of myself. Because they helped me discover sides to myself that I didn’t know I had.
Keeping our commitments to ourselves is one of the most powerful ways of building confidence and trust in ourselves.
What’s one thing you’d like to commit to?